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DWTS12 Week 9 – The Cheesecake Awards!! (“F You!” Edition)

 Oy veh. This gets harder every week. Gawd. I’m praying for a return to some form of sanity this coming week. Maybe we should take bets on who wears what and dances how for the freestyle. I got dibs on Mark’s shorty pants and maybe some horn rimmed glasses. Either white socks or sparkly socks. I’m also thinking that maybe Maks and either Cheryl or Chelsie won DaD – if it were Mark and/or Lacey they surely would have blabbed by now. 🙂 Question: Did Maks fans get out the vote?? It’s not the number of fans you have, it’s how many are willing to kill themselves voting. Mark’s fans ARE willing. Are Maks?? I guess we will (maybe) see… On with the show…

Most In Need of a Flashing “Vacancy” Sign on Their Forehead: Brooke Burke

CourtneyDo I even need to touch on the whole coin toss fail? Probably not, but I’m going to anyway 🙂 I loved the look on Hines’ face as he muttered “Ummm…I think they actually get to pick first.” The expression was one of “God love her, she’s sweet and she’s good lookin’, but MAN, she’s clueless. I play NFL football – I’m kind of an expert on coin tosses.  I have a Ph.D in them, dammit.” Pretty sure this clip is going to be a viral sensation by the end of the week.  The second, perhaps less noticeable (but no less excusable) fail, was when Brooke was introducing Tayla Kelley, the girl with the immunodeficieny syndrome that danced with Lacey & Chelsie.  Apparentely the poor girl’s name was too much for Brooke to handle, because she definitely (noticeably) paused to look down at her cue card before announcing her name.  *sigh* FAIL.

Heidi: Oh, lord, now who’s psychic?? That’s nearly exactly what I was thinking watching it. Hines had this, “Ummmm…how do I break this to her…” look on his face. If there is anyone there who’s going to know the difference between heads and tails (regardless of the head), it’s Hines. As for her blanking on Tayla’s name – gun shy?? If only she hadn’t been so glaringly obvious with the note check. Geez.

The “Mama Didn’t Raise No Fool” Award: Warren Sapp

Courtney: Warren Sapp is no dummy – even he can see right through the nonsense that is the 15 point “winner take all” cha-cha.  Which is why I found it deeply satisfying that he chose to mention it (and by extension, chastise it) on the special freestyle hour prior to the results show.  I believe his words were something like “I didn’t have this 15 points y’all throwin’ around!” You know you’ve made a bad, bad decision when a contestant from 5 SEASONS AGO makes a point of mentioning it, LIVE, when he’s supposed to be chatting about his freestyle.  And Conrad, I’d take heed – Warren’s a pretty big guy.  He could probably cause grave bodily harm just by sitting on you.  You best not be the object of his ire. He’s like Madea or something – he’ll injure you AND make you feel guilty for being bad.  And be hysterically funny while he’s at it 🙂

Heidi: He said, “I had to work for my second place” which literally had me on the damn floor laughing. Pretty much summed it up, big guy. But he did seem rather annoyed by it. I have a feeling this won’t be the last “I had to work for it…” comment out of former contestants.

Understatement of the Century Award: Brooke Burke for her whiny immitation of a large chuck of the DWTS Audience “I miss Derek.”

Heidi: Smartest thing you’ve said in a long, long time, sister. And you don’t realize how much until you see his freestyle with Brooke, which was likely his best, IMO. Damn, I miss him. At least with all the crap they’re throwing into this show I would have something pretty to look at if he was around. 🙂 Not to mention, great dancing. If only he could tweet worth a damn. Then at least I would see more pictures from his set.

Courtney: One of the things I hate most about Brooke is that even when she’s being honest & is speaking from her own heart & mind, she sounds scripted.  That’s what I thought about this – that maybe the folks feeding her lines up in the control booth were like “Tell everyone how much you miss Derek!” in an effort to draw the guy back to the show next season, despite the 3-ring circus it’s been this season.  So of course, she throws out a fakey-sounding “I miss Derek!!!” that just makes me think that she had nothing better to say, even if she really did mean it. As for Derek – honey, run for the hills – or be prepared to throw your weight around to get some changes made.  Grab Conrad by the (proverbial) balls and demand that he bury this damned “winner take all” dance forever, and that the judges get sent to rehab over the summer.  And maybe demand that Mark’s sparkly sock & flood pants budget be cut – that way he’s forced to dress normally, like the rest of the male pros 🙂

Heidi: I think you have identified part of the problem. When Derek is around he DOES ask Mark what the hell he’s wearing and asks him if he’s crazy…and makes fun of him. Apparently that had a much bigger impact on Mark than we previously realized. 😀

Award for Pro Most Likely to be Suffering from a Head Injury: Mark Ballas “The freestyle is the time to go out of the box”.

Heidi: Um…Mark? Were you dropped on your head?? As my friend Dee so eloquently screamed on Twitter, “He’s been out of the box half the season!!!!”

Courtney: *shaking my head* If he thinks he’s been IN the box all season, then I am dreading to see him really & truly “out of the box”.  Can’t wait to see what that entails – Russian folk dancing? Pole dancing? A giant squid costume? Midgets on rollerskates? 🙂 In all seriousness though – freestyles that have been “out of the box” have generally not fared so well on the show.  I daresay going against the grain didn’t work for Marie & Jonathan and Erin & Maks. Like it or not, there is a certain formula that seems to always work for freestyles on this show: high-energy & upbeat, with eye-catching tricks, and a good, collaborative effort by both members of the partnership.   If Mark is planning on going against that golden formula (which has won him two MBT’s in the past, mind you), he could be setting he & Chelsea up for failure.  Now is definitely NOT the time to go slow, edgy, or bizarre.

Heidi: You’re right, of course, now that I think on it more. None of Derek’s nor Mark’s previous freestyles were what I would call “out of the box”. None of Kym’s either. I wouldn’t even really call Julianne’s terribly risky or outrageous. But they were all upbeat, high energy with good music.

Stupidest Producer Idea BESIDES the BonASS Dance, Week 9: Play by Play during the freestyles.

Heidi: I love Warren and all, but I really wanted him to shut the hell up so I could watch the dance again in peace. And do I even need to comment on the massive ego that is Donny Osmond? Dude, your Vegas show is re-opening…MOVE ON. Amazingly enough, the only one that worked was Brooke, because she wanted to watch her dance with Derek again as much as I did! Which of course, makes me think of the next award…

Courtney: I actually got kind of a kick out of Warren giving his commentary – it was done in a rather tongue-in-cheek fashion, where you could probably tell that Warren felt silly doing it and just decided to run with it 🙂 I was half expecting him to bust out with a “Boom goes the dynamite!” or “Whammy!” mid-commentary.  Donny – just, no.  Nuff said. Move on.  Apollo – zzzzzzzz.  Brooke – meh.  Was nice to see her unscripted, but it still smacked of cluelessness. 

Heidi: Apollo was on there?? Oh yeah, I have a vague recollection of saying “Apollo = Cute” on twitter before I took a bit of a nap. 🙂

Best Freudian Slip, Possibly in the History of DWTS: Tom Bergeron, for (paraphrasing), “there’s where you needed the breast implant” when talking to Brooke during her Freestyle

Heidi: I would have to watch it again to get his exact wording, but I actually guffawed again when he said it. Totally Freudian and props to Brooke for rolling with it and snarkily correcting him. “That’s breast PAD, Tom.” Best work on DWTS she’s done since she did that Freestyle, probably. 🙂

Courtney: Somewhat off-topic, but aren’t Brooke’s fake? And isn’t it kind of common knowledge? Cause the way she reacted, she made it seem like Tom was outing her as part of the Fake Boobie Brigade or something.  I could totally see her pulling Tom aside during the break and saying “How could you??!! Now EVERYONE’s gonna know my boobs are fake and I’m gonna be the laughing stock of this show!!!” No worries, Brookie – you’ve been the laughing stock for awhile now.  It’s nothing new 🙂

Worst (Best???) Fashion Accessory, Week 9: Ralph Macchio’s “butt booster”; Honorable Mention: Brooke Burke’s “Boobie Butt”

Heidi: I confess I don’t know whether Ralph’s butt booster is “best” or worst because, while hilarious, it was kinda sad that you couldn’t be sure he was actually wearing a faux butt. Because, the man has no butt. Poor baby. Butt (heh) there to take all the spirit of fun out of it was Bruno the asshole and his diaper comment. Bruno, here’s a thought – put a diaper over your face and spare us your vile commentary, you little troll. Speaking of no butt – I only point out Brooke’s butt padding because it lead to one of the great Freudian slips of all time. 🙂

Courtney: As one of the many Americans suffering from WGB Syndrome (white girl booty syndrome), I feel Ralph’s pain.  I myself have been forced to resort to “enhancements” just to fill out certain outfits on a few occasions – sucks that a lot of the clothing manufacturers don’t cater to the gluteally-deficient 🙁 And for those of you who follow me on Twitter, I’m sure you’ve seen me bemoaning the fact that the photographer definitely photoshopped my butt in my most recent photo shoot *sniff*.  But yeah, I digress – Bruno is a sleazebag and I could make a million & one distasteful jokes about his hindquarters and what he does with them…but I’m not gonna stoop that low.  🙂 I gotta give Ralph props for playing along a bit and giving Bruno that adorable coy expression after Bruno’s inquiry about the diaper.  When you’re dressed up like Persian gangster, complete with silky shirt & chains, and you’re gyrating your fake butt to Pitbull – it helps to have a sense of humor 🙂

Weirdest Freakin’ Rant in the History of DWTS: Maks, for “Stop reacting on my negative things in a negative way because then we both negative. One of us has to be normal”

Heidi: Um…Maks? Were you dropped on your head?? Dude, you realize I had to rewind that like four times to actually transcribe that whole bizarre, yet oddly amusing diatribe?? LOL. Weirdest of all – Kirstie understood what he was saying! She ALMOST starts laughing at him and then I think she realized that it’s not nice to laugh at crazy people.

Courtney: *still scratching head* WTF did he mean? Did it get lost in translation going from Russian to English? *shaking head* Guess I’m glad that Kirstie & Maks are so in tune with one another that she understood this without any explanation. 

Brooke Burke Question so stupid and redundant that even Kirstie had Nothing: “How do you like those 9’s???

Heidi: To which Kirstie responded, “um…YAY!!!” I mean, really, the voices in Brooke’s head have GOT to shape up because this is getting ridiculous. Surely there is SOMETHING else she can ask them about. Didn’t she just ask about their 9’s last week??

Courtney: Brooke had better shape up or get out.  This is her THIRD season doing this – she should be far better at it than she is at this point.  She’s like one of those Tickle Me Elmos that only can say like, 3 phrases – and she’s not as cute as Elmo.

May 21, 2011 I Written By

Ultrasound sales specialist by day, semi-knowledgeable DWTS fan by night...with a smattering of hair & makeup enthusiast, occasional model, baker, and crazy cat lady peppered in to make things REALLY interesting ;-) I might pee my pants in happiness if Donnie Wahlberg ever does DWTS - or if they ever use "Sunglasses at Night" as a paso doble. Follow me (and my dog!) on Twitter & Instagram: @putuincespence & @BirkinTheBulldog

Pure DWTS Season 12 – How Does Or Will The Zodiac Effect Our Dancing Couples For Finals?

From little on, I’ve always been fascinated with Astrology. So, I thought I’d study up on our remaining couples and see if we could get a hint for what’s to come if we were to base the upcoming Finals on their Zodiac signs and unions. Before you read on, keep in mind other influences could be working in their charts (time of birth, life’s successes and struggles, how a person was raised, etc) which could zap anything I might have gathered up below. lol Also, just a side note, that I’m not into forecasting as much as I use Astrology as a ‘tool’ in getting to know people or to better understand them and life’s circumstanes. Below is a reflection of that….just for fun (and not to be taken too seriously).

Maks and Kirstie:

Maks and Kirste are both Capricorns with their birthdays only a few days apart. Kirstie’s birthday is on January 12th while Maks’ birthday is on Jaunary 17th. Capricorns have hard work and organizational ethics and standards for themselves and others. They set their goals high in whatever they do. In fact, they have such a hard work ethic that a vacation to them most often times involves work related projects. They just aren’t happy without work which many don’t understand. But, if you do understand, you are lucky because then you’ve just hit on something magical as Capricorns tend to be one of the most successful, at peace, and happiest of the Zodiac. A Capricorn and Capricorn partnership can be strong since this is a natural understanding for them right from the beginning. Their relationship can go on for a life time never giving up while making their dreams happen. What does this mean for Kirstie and Maks for the Finals? I’m not sure. But, what we do know is these two personalities have broke predictions and boundaries others could not do in self transformation both mentally and physically in such a short time in knowing one another. Not only do we see this in one of them…we see a transformation for the best in EACH of them on Dancing With The Stars.

Kym and Hines:

Kym was born on August 4th. She is a Leo. Hines was born March 8th. He is a Pisces. Leo and Pisces aren’t normally a common union. One is a Water sign while the other is a Fire sign. However, Leo is the king of the Zodiac for a reason. This sign is masterful at leading and taming all the other Zodiac signs. They too have strong work ethics. The most famous leaders in the world have been Leos….with President Obama currently as one of them. Leos are attentive, methodic, theatrical, dramatic, ambitious, creative, noble and magnetic …all the famous and strong qualities we’ve seen in Kym. Pisces are more quiet, imaginative, sensitive, fair, giving, soulful, self sacrificing, and artistic…all the qualities we’ve seen in Hines from his football career, to his charity work, to his role with Kym on Dancing With The Stars. We’ve seen him laugh. We’ve seen him cry. He would have quit the show in order to save Kym’s neck. What does this mean for this couple for Finals on Dancing With The Stars? I don’t know. But, what we do know that these two have been charming and inticing us as a whole all Season long…and what’s more, they’ve been consistant at it and set the bar in class and a sweet genuiness personally too.

Mark and Chelsea:

Mark was born on May 24th which makes him a Gemni. Chelsea was born on September 15th which makes her a Virgo. Gemini are very versatile with their thinking and are on the average easy-going. Though don’t think they can’t get wound up if tested. They have a dual personality which will fight for what they think is right and they can conform to anything they see fit to do. They are also inquisitive, intelligent, inventive, and creative…the latter being very strong characteristics we see in Mark. Virgos, on the other hand, think practical for the most part. They have a need to evaluative, analyze, ask questions, and can be critical. But, they are also industrious, modern, progressive, observing, smart, and are hard workers and perfectionists. Even though these two could conflict in some areas, what these two signs share the most is a wonderful emotional and support magnet for one another when the tough gets going which we’ve seen in both Mark and Chelsea and what we will most likely continue to see in the Finals.

So, what do you think? If you were to base the Finals outcome on these couples Zodiac, who is the dominate pair? Or do you think this is all a bunch of mullarchy? lol

Sources that helped with this post: Horoscopes Love Eu, Horoscopes Within, Linda Goodman’s “Sunsigns” (my favorite astrology book ever!)

I Written By

I'm a fashion and music fan....and I have always loved dancing too of any kind. Dancing With The Stars and World Of Dance seem to have this way of bringing all of those things together. Favorite Quote at the moment: "Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching, and live like it's heaven on earth." ~ William Purkey. Follow me at: Voguerista Twitter & Voguerista Soundcloud. To view my photography site, see Lisa Kay Photography.

Pure DWTS Finals – Black Eyed Peas, Go-Go’s, Sara Evans, and More To Perform For Dancing With The Stars Finals Week

Let The Finals Begin! Monday night our dancing couples will perform two numbers. The first dance is the judges’ choice and the second is the famous freestyle. Then on Tuesday, the three couples will perform their favorites dances from this Season which the judges will rank. Also, on Tuesday, the Black Eyed Peas, the Go-Go’s, and Country singer/former Dancing With The Stars Season 3 contestant Sara Evans will perform. Details below from ABC MediaNet. I imagine other surprises are in store for us as well including the return of all the contesants and pros who were eliminated this Season. We have yet to hear anything about the “Design A Dance” Contest and Performance as well which I’m starting to wonder if they scrapped?

In the final one-hour performance show on MONDAY, MAY 23 (8:00-9:01 p.m., ET), the couples will compete in two dances. The first number, the Judges’ Choice, is the style that the judges have determined to be the one each couple showed promise in and could now excel at based on hours of practice and performance. Then all three contenders will perform their fan favorite Freestyle dances.

The anticipation builds and competition continues for the two-hour Season Finale on TUESDAY, MAY 24 (9:00-11:00 p.m., ET), as the three finalists perform their own favorite dance of the season and are ranked by the judges. In addition, each of this season’s 11 couples returns to the dance floor for a special performance. All of the excitement and frenzy will lead up to the moment we’ve been waiting for – who among the three finalists will reign as champions of “Dancing with the Stars” and take home the coveted mirror ball trophy?

Also on Tuesday’s spectacular Season Finale, one the best-selling, most popular and most innovative groups in over a decade, The Black Eyed Peas, will perform the exclusive television premiere of their new single, “Don’t Stop the Party,” live. The Black Eyed Peas have transformed themselves from a beloved backpack rap troop from the West Coast Underground into fully-fledged, massive global superstars whose music can be heard in any country around the world. Having created several albums, each more innovative and popular than the last, The Black Eyed Peas –, Fergie, Taboo and – are releasing their sixth full-length album, “The Beginning.” This follows on the heels of 2009’s “The E.N.D.,” their most popular and most creative album to date – and the one that reaffirmed their singular status as global music icons. “The E.N.D.” sold more than 11 million copies worldwide and entered the Billboard Top 200 Chart at No. 1, outperforming their previous CD, “Monkey Business.” It yielded five Top 10 singles (the first album to do so in 20 years), spent an entire year on the Billboard Top 200 Chart, and earned the group three new Grammy Awards, for a total of six Grammy Awards they’ve won. In all, they’ve sold 29 million records worldwide (plus over 30-million digital tracks), sold more than 3 million tickets and headlined over 300 different tour dates in 29 different countries. “The Beginning’s” first single, “The Time (Dirty Bit),” went straight to No. 1 on iTunes in 11 countries within the first 24 hours. Much of “The Beginning” was conceived during their most recent worldwide headlining tour, where they visited more than 20 countries and played to more than a million people.

For the first time in a “DWTS” Season Finale, Macy’s Stars of Dance presents the Macy’s Design-a-Dance fan favorite Jive song pick, “We Got the Beat,” to be performed live in the ballroom by the Go-Go’s. The winning “DWTS” pro dancers and concept will also be revealed Tuesday night. This will be the band’s first television performance together in over five years and kicks off a spectacular summer of events celebrating the 30th anniversary of the Go-Go’s debut, history-making album, “Beauty and the Beat.” The Go-Go’s recently announced the addition of a tour kick-off performance to be held in Las Vegas, NV at The Beach at Mandalay Bay on May 27, 2011. When “Beauty and the Beat” was released and flew up the charts 30 years ago, it became a perennial soundtrack for summer and reached the top of the Billboard charts, the first for an all-female band who wrote and performed their own music. Also just released, “The Go-Go’s: Beauty and the Beat 30th Anniversary Edition” by Capitol/I.R.S. commemorative edition, available in 2CD, digital and hot pink vinyl format, which features the remastered original album plus exclusive, previously unreleased live show recordings from 1981.

Country music star/”DWTS” Season 3 alum Sara Evans returns to the ballroom floor after having to withdraw from the competition. Having made a huge comeback, Sara’s new RCA Nashville album, “Stronger,” was released March 8 and scored back-to-back weeks at No. 1 on Billboard’s Top Country Albums chart. First week sales earned the album a No. 6 debut on the all-genre Billboard 200 chart. The album’s first hit single, “A Little Bit Stronger,” recently reached the No. 1 position on the country radio charts and stayed there for two consecutive weeks. “A Little Bit Stronger” was also recently RIAA-certified as a Gold Digital Single, reflecting digital sales in excess of 500,000 downloads. Beginning June 18, Evans will join Rascal Flatts on their summer “Flatts Fest” tour.

I Written By

I'm a fashion and music fan....and I have always loved dancing too of any kind. Dancing With The Stars and World Of Dance seem to have this way of bringing all of those things together. Favorite Quote at the moment: "Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching, and live like it's heaven on earth." ~ William Purkey. Follow me at: Voguerista Twitter & Voguerista Soundcloud. To view my photography site, see Lisa Kay Photography.

DWTS 12 – Kym and Hines Talks To Ryan Seacrest On The Finals (Video)

Kym chatted with Ryan Seacrest yesterday on his radio show in L.A. about the Finale. She doesn’t give away much for what their dances will be like. But, she does say they aren’t planning to do any spectacular lifts and or go crazy because of her injury. That’s ok in my opinion. This queen of the dance floor from down under will still come up with something memorable and fantastic. What do you think? Go Kym and Hines!!

I Written By

I'm a fashion and music fan....and I have always loved dancing too of any kind. Dancing With The Stars and World Of Dance seem to have this way of bringing all of those things together. Favorite Quote at the moment: "Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching, and live like it's heaven on earth." ~ William Purkey. Follow me at: Voguerista Twitter & Voguerista Soundcloud. To view my photography site, see Lisa Kay Photography.