Dancing with the Stars Season 28, THE FINALE – LIVE BLOG

I must say, I’m  very curious to see what the three stooges will do tonight. How desperate for an Ally win are they?? Or was their only goal to get her to the finale?? Questions, questions.  I’m going to split all my votes between Hannah and Kel because I’d be happy with either of them winning.

T-minus 30 minutes…until we sit through two hours of bloat to see who wins.

Here comes the opening number…Love Ally and Hannah’s dresses while speaking.

Daniella continues to put all the other women to shame. We should have seen more of her this season.

Erin’s dress is gorgeous. Honestly, the rotating choreographers on the pro number have made them somewhat refreshing.

Ally dancing first – the new pimp spot. Seems they want her to get plenty of votes.

And she’s…singing?? Double whammy….doing a jive to proud Mary which Derek did perfectly with Nicole in their finale.  Ally ain’t no Nicole.  Her feet are way off for one thing.

Len: Only going to be one winner. You’ve done your chances no harm at all. Fantastic. (I see how we’re going here – Ally can do no wrong.)

Bruno: That’s how you start a show. Full throttle. Maximum effect.

CAI: Been a lot of controversy – that is why you are here tonight. (bullshit – you all are just justifying last weeks decision.)

Apparently we’re only going to watch Hannah and Kel’s feet this week.

Erin can’t even keep Ally and Lauren straight.

Scores: 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.  Shocker.

Lauren and Gleb are up next. She’s doing her foxtrot to Jolene. She’s a sweet girl – if only she wasn’t with Gleb.

She’s still not  a really natural mover like the other three are. I blame Gleb.  What is it about this dance it just seems so…joyless.

Bruno: What I Like about you is you bring the character to life. (why does the audience have mason jars?).  Lines and balance have improved.

CAI: Emotionally you weren’t as open as the first time, you’ve developed as a dancer but you’re holding back as a dancer. Let it all out.

And Tom tries to skip Len. 🙂

Len: Mix of flair and care. (the set falls apart) Well done.

Scores: 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27

Okay, so, everyone is going to get 9s except Ally. I think we predicted this.  Kel up next, Hannah last.

Kel is doing his jazz, in case anyone has forgotten. He got a tiny bit off time but over all he’s killing it . He might get hammered for picking something that isn’t ballroom, in addition to his freestyle – and it’s not a particularly difficult dance. I wonder if he REALLY picked this dance…..essentially doing two freestyles in one night, since jazz on DWTS isn’t real Jazz.

CAI: Great the first time, better the second time. So spot on with delivery.

Len: There’s no hiding place, out in front the whole time.

Bruno: Uplifting, positive, life affirming. Beautiful to watch.

Maybe there is hope from someone other than Ally…

Scores: 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30 (color me shocked).

Eh, before anyone goes nuts seeing Hannah in the Bachelor preview….if you don’t actually watch the show you don’t even know how bad they are about airing previews that are not even remotely close to reality.  Heavily edited so when you see the actual show it was nothing.

Hannah doing her V. Waltz…not sure why, but….

Anyway, she seems to have her head right tonight in the package. I hope this dance is impactful enough. I’m not sure. Her posture looks good.  I see no obvious flaws. I wonder if the judges will manufacture a couple.

Len: You put the turns in. Lovely sweeping movement.

Bruno: You are in full bloom, more confident. You went on the wrong foot. It was beautiful.

CAI: Your best dance of the season. You have a lightness and ease of motion.

Scores: 10, 9, 9 for a total of 28

I want Hannah to win just to screw over the judges.

NUMBERS UPDATE: Assuming everyone gets a 30 on their freestyle, in order for Kel or Ally to win, each needs one point more than the other and they need for Hannah and Lauren to not cover the spread. Hannah needs 8,600 more votes per million votes cast than both Kel and Ally (and for Lauren to not cover the spread) in order to win. Lauren needs 4,300 and 12.8k more votes per million votes cast than Hannah, Kel/Ally, respectively, to win.

I suspect that neither Lauren nor Hannah will get a perfect score on the freestyle in order to give Ally a better shot.

Ally up with her freestyle – how is Ally “what this show is all about?”  I’m confused, Sasha.

She looks great. A couple little awkward moves I can’t figure out. That lift was just bad. And she’s even off time in her freestyle – a bit behind Sasha at one point She was the only one not moving her feet at one point. Last lift was also very awkward. Refrain from lifts, Sasha.

That was unimpressive.

Bruno: Unleash the star power.  Jennifer lopez invading. Love the tribal bits. Lot of actual latin dancing.

CAI: (doing her usual over reaction) Never seen anything like that (are you fucking kidding ME?).

Len: High energy, nice bit of salsa. Loved that the music was recreated in every move.

They are quite desperate for her to win, aren’t they?? Keep telling the audience how great she is and soon everyone will believe.

Ally, you were in the bottom two THREE times!

Scores: 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30. 60 for the night.

Good god, Bobby Bones working super hard to get his mug on TV.

This AI thing is dumb. None of the three seem that excited.

Ugh. Gleb. Maybe if you lost the supreme arrogance and took some choreography notes you would be remotely likable.

Country themed freestyle. Took Lauren forever to actually dance – did more sitting. Gleb showcases himself. She does a better lift than Ally though.

Oh goodie another singer. Come on. Unbelievable amount of time NOT dancing in this freestyle.

CAI: Everyone’s freestyle is so different – this one is perfect for you. I adore you, adored your journey.

Len: You paid homage to your roots. Full of entertainment.

Bruno: The line dancing was delicious. I’m a happy man.

Scores: 10, 10, 10 for a perfect 30.

So, like half the celebrities will be on tour. All four finalists. So why the extreme pimpage of Ally? Is her label owned by Disney??

Hannah up next….still a little showmance in the package.

The first 20 seconds are better than anything Ally or Lauren did.

Now THAT was a freestyle. She just put the other two women to shame – by a mile. Well done!!

Len: Caught me unawares – you came out sharp, crisp, bold. You really threw me and it was great!

Bruno: Dramatic to acrobatic to sexy. AT inspired opening, beautifully insync

CAI: You are living your best life and this is so beautiful to see. Victorious freestyle.

CAI just can’t help herself. Two dances before Hannah’s were just not great. And full of issues that were ignored.

Scores: 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Come on, Kel. Kill it.

I’m not really into this so far. And I usually like hip hop. Like how it speeds up and then down at the end. I find it amusing that Witney is actually better at hip hop then Kel is.

He likely went last because of the car.

Bruno: What a ride! And what a night. Love it. Final acceleration was exhilarating.

CAI:  My inner fly girl is so happy. Represented.

Len: I’m not going to be the party pooper because it’s not in my nature. This was for me was similar to the first dance you did (I foresaw that). I’m not saying it wasn’t good, I would have just liked (many boos).

Scores: 10, 9, 10 for a 29 out of 30.

Erin claims it’s one of the best freestyles she’s ever seen? Put down the crack pipe, girl. That wasn’t even close. It was good, verging on great – but best ever? No.

Okay, here we go!!

LOL – Love Kel’s dad.

Wonder if there is anything to this order of the clips.

Fourth Place: Lauren and Gleb

Third Place: Ally and Sasha

And the WINNER IS: Hannah and Alan!!

Congrats to Hannah and Kel.  Kel came from a likely early elimination to take second place – his accomplishment should not be under rated.