DWTS Season 12, Week 9 – Dancing by the (Bogus) Numbers

Well, I don’t know that there is much point to this post seeing as how the judges did their very best to make sure that Chelsea makes the finals and Ralph goes home. They went to extraordinarily nasty and ridiculous lengths to do it too. You know there is a problem when many Derek fans are now praying he doesn’t come back to the show – they’re outraged and he’s not even involved!!!

Ol’ Ralph must be getting some serious votes if they feel the need to take such drastic measures to make sure he goes home. You think he’s the weakest dancer?? SO WHAT?? The nature of this show has ALWAYS been equal parts judges scores and votes. That is no longer the case. If people don’t connect with you even though you are a good dancer and you go home? Tough CRAP. That’s the way it is – Lil’ Kim, Joanna, Jennie and a million more…all went home at least a week early. Them’s the breaks. The dancers have to foster a connection with the audience as well as they dance. The people have to like you well enough to vote for you…or at least not like someone else better. Tom Bergeron always says, “vote for your favorite”. People who watch and vote on this show have learned that if they want their favorite to stay, they have to vote like crazy, or what happened to Sabrina will happen to their favorite. But not this time. This time, if you vote for your favorite all night long it still might not matter because the judges have rigged it so that your votes have far less impact – and they don’t have the guts to call it a judges save. They tried and tried to string together a story of why it was necessary, and why this was a “good thing” – Yeah, tell that to Hines’ and Kirstie’s fans, in addition to Ralph’s fans. I’m sure they’ve very glad you took drastic measures to protect Chelsea. What will you do next week to make sure the best dancer (in your opinion) wins?? Do a winner takes all redemption dance where they are all dancing something different?? Why don’t you guys just be HONEST?

Anyway…

The Judges Scores and Percentages

Place Celebrity Score Percentage
1. Chelsea 73 31.06
2. Hines 60 25.53
3. Kirstie 54 22.98
4. Ralph 48 20.43

Anyone want to guess just how asinine the spread is between top and bottom?? I’ll give you a hint – 6 figures. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, the only way to enures that Chelsea Kane – a perfectly lovely girl, I’m sure – makes the finals is to put such a spread between her and Ralph that he needs more than 106 THOUSAND votes per million votes cast to stay over her. If not for that ridiculous spread, it is easy to invision her getting eliminated by the voting blocks of Kirstie, Hines and Ralph. We’ve seen it happen before where someone’s not connecting and they get sent home, despite being the better dancer. That’s always been the nature of the show. Anyway, besides and act of god, what does Ralph need to stay? He needs ONE of the following to happen:

- He needs 25,540 more votes per million votes cast than Kirstie, OR;
- He needs 51,100 more votes per million votes cast than Hines, OR;
- He needs 106,400 more votes per million votes cast than Chelsea.

Ugh. I am thoroughly disgusted. I can barely bring myself to type out this post. And I don’t want to hear any more whining about how Chelsea is the best dancer. If you haven’t figured out by now that that is beside the point, there is no hope for you. Just spare me the theatrics cause you know if the shoe was on the other foot you’d be screaming bloody murder. You’re probably the same bunch that was saying last season that it’s about the “most improved” dancer. Um hmmm….not so much this time around, eh?

Anyway, it is my humble opinion that Ralph’s AT was just as good as Kirstie’s Paso and that the two extra points she got were a bit much. Ralph may not be the best dancer – but the underscoring was SO transparent. As was the over scoring – 10’s on Hines second dance and the perfect 30 for Chelsea? In what universe was that a 30?? Oh, the universe of mediocre dancing. I forgot. But you know what? I can handle them underscoring Ralph – the judges have always been idiots. But the commentary used to deliver those ridiculous scores?? SHAMEFUL and pathetic and disgusting. As was the tongue bath they gave to everyone else. I don’t know when I’ve seen such an obvious display designed to sway the audience vote away from Ralph along with scoring to make it happen.

Let’s say that an act of God happens and Ralph gets the votes – what happens to Kirstie? Well, she needs to pass Hines or Chelsea so one of them goes home instead of her. What votes does that take?

- She needs 25,550 more votes per million votes cast than Hines, OR;
- She needs 81,000 more votes per million votes cast than Chelsea.

She might be able to do that. But probably not. After that whole video with Hines and Kym and him crying (and me right along with him), I fully expect to see him doing a freestyle next week. What would it take for the most shocking elimination ever to happen on this show (and they don’t ordinarily shock me at all)?? ALL of the following would have to happen for Chelsea to be eliminated:

- Ralph gets 106,400 more votes per million votes cast than she does, AND;
- Kirstie gets 81,000 more votes per million votes cast than she does, AND;
- Hines gets 51,100 more votes per million votes cast than Chelsea does.

Now, I can see Hines doing it. Maybe even Kirstie. But Ralph?? There might not even be that many people voting on this show. What is much more possible is that Ralph nudges Kirstie out the door. Is it likely? I doubt it – but it’s certainly not out of the question. Ralph only needs 25,540 more votes than Kirstie and that’s similar to what he got last week. Yeah, sure, that was over Romeo which is a different story – but this week, in their quest to humiliate and eliminate Ralph, it’s entirely possible that they went WAY too far. Let me ask you a question – what often happens when the judges are extremely harsh, kick people when they’re down?? Sympathy votes. If you’re already a popular guy and they’ve coated Chelsea in Teflon, what are your fans going to do? Vote like hell.

And, just like in regular elections, it’s very often the independents that swing the election one way or another. Gee – I wonder who the sympathetic votes are going? My guess: Ralph and Hines, for different, obvious reasons. So…where does that leave Kirstie??

Trouble?? Maybe yes, maybe no. Who can say at this point? I’m going to state the obvious and say we’ve seen the last of Ralph. I so look forward to the smug satisfaction from the Wonder Trio. NOT. Maybe Ralph is far too classy for this show anyway. Now, I’m going to go buy some beer and start a mantra that goes something like “Please, Derek, don’t come back to this show…find another movie and keep your distance.” You deserve better. Hell, they all do.