PureDWTS Season 28, Week 6: Power Rankings

Oof, dear LAWD – what a mess this show has become. To be clear: while Ally and Sailor may not be the best dancers this season, they’re far from the worst, and neither should have been in the bottom Monday night.  And yet, here we are, trying to make sense of the fact that Lindsay’s partner (who, despite her best efforts, is still by and far the worst dancer remaining this season) hasn’t even been in the bottom two yet this season, while those actually unfortunate enough to land there seemed like a revolving door of people of color with far more talent and charm than him. Clearly the other cast members were just as gobsmacked as we were, as the looks on their faces as the credits rolled just seemed like a stunned collective countenance of “WTF”. And when I ruminate on how far this show has fallen, it makes me think back to an op-ed from The Cut that Heidi shared back before the season began, which looks at Lindsay’s partner’s participation on the show as symptomatic of a bigger problem we seem to have as a society at the moment: the disdain held for the educated, trained, and competent in favor of the spectacle of rank amateurs taking up space instead. Heck, we see it in the current administration – men and women holding positions they have neither the experience nor the general intelligence necessary to adequately fulfill their duties, while those with the credentials and education to actually do these jobs well are treated with general contempt and are branded “elitists”. And when our damn reigning champion is trying to apply this same narrative to the show and rally his fans to vote for Lauren instead of “those Hollywood types” (you mean the ones that can actually dance, Bones?) much in the same way he constantly reminded us on his season that he “was from a town of 800 people, never danced before in my life, all those other people have dance experience, but vote for me cause I make a great story!!!” Whether it’s Bones trying to convince middle America that he’s “just like them” or you-know-who putting up straw men about being persecuted on the show “because [he’s] a Christian”, it’s all just wagging the dog to divert attention from the fact that THEY CAN’T DANCE but feel entitled to a win nonetheless.

All that being said, I think another big problem the show is struggling with now is the fact that we just don’t have as many viewers invested enough to tune in and vote; and when the total number of votes gets smaller, the potential for shenanigans increases, as it gives fringe voting groups (like Bones’ fans) more leverage. I’ve had a few people on Twitter asking me if I think the new voting format (only Eastern and Central time zones are able to vote while actually watching the show; Mountain and Pacific can vote, but they have to do so blindly) is to blame for some of the weirdness we’ve seen so far this season – and honestly, while I don’t think it’s helping, I think the bigger problem is just that viewership is down and viewers aren’t impassioned enough to vote anymore. To put it in perspective, during the show’s heyday, it was commanding anywhere from 15 to upwards of 22 million viewers per episode (back in season 10 – keep in mind, this was pre-The Voice, which didn’t start airing concurrent with DWTS until 2011); it trended down once it had to go head-to-head with The Voice, though it was still averaging 8-12 million viewers per episode as recently as season 25. Then 2018 came along, and we got a truncated spring season that topped out at 8.77 million for the finale, followed by Bones’ season, which couldn’t muster any better than 7.9 million. And this season, aside from the premiere, we’ve been hovering in the 6 million range. Maybe Heidi could do a numbers post that illustrates the differences that happen when you’ve got 22 million, 12 million, and 6 million viewers voting to give you an idea of how much more power a fringe voting group has when the vote totals are lower, but trust me: Lindsay’s partner doesn’t need a ton of votes (boasting from his fans notwithstanding) to stick around when a) there’s just not as many people voting, total and b) when the judges are being far, FAR too kind with their scoring of him, which proves they’ve learned absolutely nothing in their 14 years judging this show.

So all that aside, we ended up with Ally and Sailor in the bottom 2 (and I had kind of wondered about Ally as recently as 2 weeks ago – I also said we would need to have a “come to Jesus” meeting if she ended up in the bottom two…), and one of them had to go – and I think the judges made the right call in keeping Ally. While Sailor did seem to be improving (and again – DID NOT BELONG IN THE BOTTOM 2), I thought Ally had an overall better command of all the dance styles she had done, while Sailor only seemed to really shine in certain styles (tango and Viennese waltz). I will say I found it a tad peculiar that Sailor took her elimination so hard – you could begin to the see the panic on her face when she was one of the last five still waiting to get called safe, and it was downhill from there; she was absolutely incoherent and inconsolable by the time it was just her and Ally standing there. For someone that stepped in at the last minute for her mother and apparently hadn’t planned to do this show until three days before the premiere, she seemed pretty devastated at the prospect of getting eliminated – while Ally, who I think had far more to prove in doing DWTS and had been signed on from the get-go, seemed far more composed. Everyone processes emotion differently, so who knows – but there were kids on Juniors that accepted their elimination more gracefully than Sailor did. Perhaps my curiosity was just piqued by a blind item someone on Twitter told me about, which implied something to the extent of “it was always the plan for Sailor to be on the show, Christie just agreed to do the show and faked the injury so Sailor could take her place and it was in Sailor’s contract that she had to make it to the semifinals!” Clearly the last part wasn’t true, but the whole Sailor replacing Christie situation still struck me as odd, as there had been rumors before Christie had even been announced as a celeb that she had already dropped out – and then we had Sailor just utterly devastated at being eliminated, and I had to kinda go “Hmmmm.” I saw a few comments on Twitter asking “Wow, where did all of Val’s fans go??? Eliminated early two seasons in a row now!!!”, to which I refer back to my point above that there just aren’t as many people watching and voting, period – additionally, they finally stopped handing him serial ringers after Normani, and so he’s had to really work to get decent dancing out of the three partners he’s had since then…with mixed results.

1.) Lauren & Gleb – First of all, why did it look like the costume department just put them in some bedazzled Spanx? Their affinity for flesh-toned fabric this season is…troubling. But I digress…I was very proud of how Lauren connected to the dance and handled everything that Gleb threw her way.  THAT BEING SAID, Gleb’s contemporary choreo looked like he spent maybe 30 minutes on YouTube searching “How to do contemporary dance”, because this seemed like a hodgepodge of clichéd flailing, lifting, and jumping, and I thought Lauren deserved better for such an intensely personal performance. But it’s nothing I haven’t been saying for the past few weeks: Gleb’s choreo sucks, and I don’t think he cares that it sucks, because I think he knows how popular his partner is and that will carry them through.  I know a lot of you have poo-poohed this theory, but I’m still getting the feeling that Lauren may end up winning this whole thing – just seems like a lot of folks find her to be endlessly likeable (and they’re not wrong), and the fact that she’s a country singer that is getting weekly promotion from a friend in country music radio that managed to win his own season makes me think that he’s going to push her right along to a win.  Which irks me, because I think she’s only technically better than maybe (2) other contestants still left, and is behind James, Ally, and Hannah in terms of technical skill (I’d put her about on-par with Kel and Kate, technique-wise). And I think I’ve made my feelings about Gleb and his work ethic (or lack thereof) pretty clear by now.  So unless she makes some huge strides to catch up to some of the better dancers, or the judges start to get a bit more realistic about scores – I think she’s going to end up our winner this season. I’d be more than happy to be proven wrong…

2.) James & Emma – If Lauren’s who I’m thinking WILL win this season, James is who I’m thinking SHOULD win this season. Honestly, y’all, at this point, I don’t think the fact that he’s the best from a technical standpoint can even be argued – he managed to give some impressive hip action in a dance that has so far confounded everyone that’s done it this season, and really, most contestants over the years (for the record, the only male contestant that I feel absolutely nailed samba hip action is Jordan – Alfonso comes in at a close 2nd), and I don’t think he’s had a bad dance yet. And he’s still selling every performance – you can tell he’s really excited to put on a show, so he’s extremely invested in getting into the character of the dance. About the only complaint I have about this performance was the lighting – I wanted to actually be able to see him killing it, and the dim lighting and EDM-inspired laser show made it hard to see that. Generally, though – no complaints from me on these two 🙂

3.) Kate & Pasha – If Lauren’s who I think WILL win, and James is who SHOULD win, then Kate is who I wish COULD win, because she and Pasha are a delight. Their dances are so refreshingly genuine – down-to-earth, no pretense, just two people having a lot of fun dancing and performing for an audience. This Viennese waltz was just so pure and timeless – Kate looked gorgeous in that plum-hued gown (loved how it looked with her auburn hair) and Pasha kept the choreo simple and syllabus-heavy.  Lightweight impressed that he managed to get a fleckerl out of Kate – and a decent one, at that! That step always evaded me – I ended up looking like a cartoon character trying to run really fast, but getting stuck in place. Pasha really is quickly learning what works and what doesn’t on this show – I’m not sure there’s been a male pro since Derek that has been able to pick up on and adapt to the unwritten mores of this show so quickly, and use them to his advantage. And as for Kate – man, I sure would love it if we could get another win for the over-40 set.  We’ve only had (3) champs over the age of 40, and two of them have been men (Donny & Alfonso); sure would be great to get another woman to join Jen Grey as midde-aged ladies that managed to beat out a buncha youngin’s for the trophy 🙂 My only concern at this point: Kate is definitely stronger in the ballroom dances than the Latin ones (though her only Latin dance was in week 1, and wasn’t really that bad), and she’s burned through most of the ballroom ones already – all that’s really left for her to do is tango and maybe a standard waltz (if they opt to use it). So she’s gonna have to start burning through Latin dances next week…hope you guys are voting!!!

4.) Ally & Sasha – Bit of a step back for these two this week, I’m afraid – and I tend to blame the split-set staging (which I think only ever really worked well with Nastia’s jive trio) which resulted in them getting a bit off-time right at the beginning of the dance. I’m not sure they ever got 100% in-sync with one another during their quickstep, either – seem like they were alternating bobbing (one was up while the other was down) as they were going down the floor, which is usually a dead giveaway that something isn’t quite right with your quickstep technique.  Frame and body contact were generally good, though, and I think Ally sold it well; just wish Sasha would have ditched that weird “let’s separate and run down the ballroom floor like we’re still in frame!” move, which looked awkward and seemed to trigger a series of missteps right at the end of the dance. Not a terrible dance; but not their best dance, either. I’m counting on fans rallying next week to save Ally from the bottom (as that seems to be the pattern right now – fall in the bottom 2, get saved one way or another, rally the fans to vote another week to keep you out of the bottom), but I’m not sure how she’s going to fare votes-wise in the grand scheme of things. Part of me thinks she may either get eliminated in the semifinals, or make it to the finals only to finish in 4th place. Just getting a real Sabrina-y and Alexis-y vibe off her, which sucks, because she does seem like a really hard worker and a genuinely nice person.

5.) Hannah & Alan – First of all, shout-out to Alan for clapping back at Bones’ passive aggressive “that Bachelor chick” comment, in which Bones tried to paint her as “one of those Hollywood types” (which is laughable, considering Hannah’s from Alabama and is a reality star – in the same vein as Bones’ buddy Lauren, who got her start on American Idol). I appreciate that he’s definitely looking out for his partner.  That said – these two are just fading into the woodwork for me, unfortunately. I didn’t expect Hannah to do great at the samba, although she did actually get a few things right; she did manage to close her thighs properly (which is a complaint I usually have when ladies on the show do samba) despite somehow taking really large steps. But the thing that struck me about this samba was just how much of a non-event it was 🙁 The song was godawful for a samba, I’ll give them that, but I didn’t really see much in the way of hip action, energy, or joy…it just felt like she was kinda going through the motions with a pageant smile on her face. Part of me wonders if her being the last called safe on Monday night was a bit of a warning shot – a sort of “ok guys, she’s safe this week, but you need to step up the voting” maneuver. Really wish these two were popping more…

6.) Lindsay – She looked absolutely stunning this week in that teal ballgown, and her hair was mesmerizing – sis, what kind of extensions are they clipping in? I loved how it moved. Aside from that, I will give her credit for possibly being the greatest back-leader on this show – it was more apparent to me this week that her partner really hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing out on the floor, but she’s doing such a good job back-leading him that it actually makes it seem like he remembers and is actively leading his choreo. Not much else to add…he should have been gone awhile ago…

7.) Kel & Witney – A definite improvement from Kel & Witney this week – this quickstep felt like it was right in their wheelhouse, and Witney did seem to step it up and give Kel some more challenging choreo. Just one problem: it seemed to fall apart a bit at the end. Part of me now wonders if Witney has kept the choreo simple because for whatever reason, Kel loses focus and stuff gets messy by the end of the routine.  It happened in his samba; it seemed to happen again with his quickstep. Which sucks, because 3/4 of it were actually quite good – lots of content, some fun Lindy sections, and Kel and Witney both looking like they were having a great time. Like many of you last week that couldn’t help but compare James’ Pirates paso to Riker’s Pirates paso, though, I had a hard time not comparing this quickstep to Hines & Kym’s to the same song back in season 12. Their interpretation had more of a story, and what I would consider a higher level of difficulty – plus it featured one of my favorite ballgowns ever 😛 The costumes this season just haven’t been up to snuff – and while Kel & Witney’s polka dot ensembles were fun, I was puzzled by the costume department’s affinity for nude fabric this week…seemed to wash Wit out. Anywho, at the end of the day, I’m left with the same dilemma about these two that I’ve had all season: they’re good, but not great, and they’re often one of the last couples that spring to mind when recalling the week’s performances.  It’s been a few weeks since they’ve hit the bottom 2, so I’m guessing they’re due for another appearance there…

8.) Karamo & Jenna – *sigh* At this point, it’s just like “well somebody’s gotta be in the bottom” and it’s been a few weeks since ‘Mo’s been there…and from an objective standpoint, he’s probably the 2nd weakest dancer left (and we know you-know-who probably isn’t going anywhere just yet). He’s also got the misfortune of being on the weaker team for the team dance, and he’s got a super aggressive dance style that I’m not sure really fits who he is as a person (paso).  I’m afraid it’s gonna be the end of the line for him, come Monday – but man, am I glad he did this show.  This man has so many stories to tell – the pain of coming out to his family, only to be disowned by his dad for ten years? Finding out he had a son he never knew about, and then adopting both his biological son as well as his son’s sibling? Being the first openly gay black man on reality television? This guy has been THROUGH IT, y’all – and he still has such an amazing optimism about him. And it’s that optimism that’s carried him on this show, especially when the judges were less than enthusiastic about his dancing. However, I think he did have a breakthrough this week – watching him do contemporary felt very organic and fluid, and I think Jenna gave him some good content while still keeping it manageable for him. He handled the lifts beautifully – but this was pretty lift-heavy choreo, though I still prefer it to the contemporary-by-numbers we got from Gleb. At the end of the day, someone’s gotta go – and since the judges won’t get serious about scoring poor dancers realistically, we’re probably going to lost one of the next-weakest dancers…and Karamo’s just run out of steam. Poor guy.

So what are your thoughts on this week’s elim? Who are your predictions for the finals? And how do you think things are going to shake out next week?